What’s Gender Got to Do with Love?
So I met classmate A during 10th grade, which is equivalent to freshman year in high school back in Taiwan. Classmate A was charming, mysterious, artistic, and above all else, extremely sensitive. Needless to say, the quick-tempered person that I am, I quickly developed a huge crush towards classmate A.
I had just moved back from New York, and was eager to have a new start and build new relationships. When I saw classmate A sketching away at the birds outside with genius precision and that focused expression, I thought to myself, I wish I could be part of that aura. So I planned my tactic and presented the best and most passionate parts of my personality, and eventually, we grew really close.
The story of me and classmate A is a long and dramatic one that changed my perspective on human relationship as a whole. I can’t describe it in detail without this being an award-winning short novel series, so maybe I’ll save the details for another occasion. However, when I liked Classmate A no one else mattered, I was willing to spend time, money, everything else valuable that I owned, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Just like all of my previous crushes, I imagined us kissing countless times, in fact, that’s the method I always use to decide if my affection towards another has any romantic element in it at all, because it’s complicated. Our feelings are complicated.
Classmate A and I made a great story, but not a happy one. I am glad to have had classmate A in my life, but I never EVER want to see classmate A’s face again. (That escalated quickly!)
This is just a sneak peek of the relationship we shared, but if you are intrigued so far, remember how this love story appears to be perfectly intact without anyone ever knowing the gender of classmate A. It’s because it is. Perfectly intact that is.
I stand by what I’ve said. You like a person for that person and the little pieces that combined so uniquely to become his/her identity. It’s never the genitals. Have you ever seen drama plots in which the main character pretends to be the opposite gender and when the other guy/girl realized that he/she is falling for the main character though they are of the same sex, he/she starts to suffer mentally? Well it’s because they have yet to come to the realization that it’s the person that they like and gender has nothing to do with it though it seemed to be such a fundamental criteria at first.
As human beings, I feel like we’ve come a long way through evolution, and we are no longer looking for soulmates for the sole purpose of reproduction. Love someone because you feel happy being with the person and you don’t even have to think twice. Not every feeling can be explained in black and white, but just knowing that alone would free us from the struggle of confusion and uncertainty.
Loving another person is too amazing and too basic a feeling that no one should be deprived of it for any reason, especially not gender. That’s just so silly.
My name is Lilianne, and I am bisexual, and I tell other people about it like I’m talking about my favorite food. They are all just things that make me who I am and are my preference. I don’t think about it much at all, because it’s just a neutral piece of information, not good, not bad. No matter what we say or do, just be natural about it. Seriously, you can thank me later. 😉
