Office for Promotion of Equality and DiversityWaseda University

Series: Tackling Work-Life Balance (24)

Believe that there is a way

Student Diversity Center, Office for Students with Disabilities M.S.

The first obstacle I faced was my child’s illness

In terms of work-life balance, I have faced obstacles several times, but the first big one was when my second son was one to three years old. He got sick often, and since he had asthma, he would repeatedly have a high fever and a wheezing cough that would continue for a week. It was a time when my first son needed my attention as well, so I was tense because of the impatience that came from wondering when I would be able to work normally again and of guilt. I am sure I have caused a lot of trouble at my workplace, and my mother, who works far away in Nagano, came to help me many times. I spent my days praying, “I hope they can survive the day.”

▲Eldest son at 4 years old, second son at 2 years old. Around the time when I prayed, “Let them survive the day.”

I felt a sense of relief from those days when my second son turned three years old. He was sick less and was able to control his asthma. At that time, I was able to focus more on work again as well. It has been 10 years since my second son was born, but even now when I look back, that was when I struggled most because I could not strike a balance between work and life at home.

Using the nursery center at Waseda University out of reluctance to go to preschool

My daughter was born four years after my second son, and we moved to a new house because our old one was becoming cramped. It was a new start for my eldest son and daughter since we moved at a time when they were starting elementary school and preschool, but my second son changed preschools at the start of his second year. He had a hard time getting used to the new school, and by the middle of the second year, he became reluctant to go.

At first, I used all kinds of tricks to take my second son to preschool, but there was a limit on what could be done. Eventually, I thought, “If this is the case, maybe I should just take him to Waseda with me.” So, I gave taking him to the nursery center at the Nishiwaseda campus a try. In the mornings, my husband was in charge of our eldest son and daughter, and I would take the first train in the morning to Takadanobaba station with my second son. I would drop him off in the nursery center in Building No. 60 then go straight to my workplace in Building No. 55. My second son and I would have lunch together with my senior at work, and then we would go home holding hands while observing plants in Toyama Park. Before, my days were about rushing my children onto the bicycle and going back and forth between preschool and home, so such moments where we could walk home together in peace felt refreshing and precious.

Because of the nursery teachers and lunchtime with my senior, my second son fell in love with Waseda, and he started coming here once or twice a week. Since then, even though he would still show reluctance to go to preschool, he no longer stopped me from going to Waseda. I think it was important for him to have this understanding that, “My mom goes there every day. I can go there again if I sleep three more nights.” This kind of lifestyle continued for nearly a year, and my second son was able to graduate from his local preschool and Waseda’s nursery center.

Dramatic change in lifestyle due to COVID-19

After that, the balance between work and life at home, which had been fairly stable (or so I thought), became unstable again due to the impact of COVID-19.

In particular, my lifestyle changed completely because of the self-refrain from sending our children to preschool since last year’s March and the close of the elementary school the following month. Additionally, bad things happened one after another, such as my mother not being able to visit us in Tokyo, my children having to postpone their extracurricular activities, and the yoga class I had been going to closing down. Everything I had depended on the help of others for, including work, chores, child care, education, and exercise, suddenly came at me all at once. The way I had been doing things was not working at all, and my family kept trying every day to figure out what works best for us. Though I just kept going without any time to think and I could say those days were tough, I actually learned a lot during this time.

For example, my family would take a walk in the neighborhood in the mornings and rediscovered interesting things about the area. At night, I started doing yoga with my children by watching YouTube videos, and yoga became a common hobby for us. When I asked my family to fold their own laundry, which I used to do on my own, they surprisingly did so without any complaints. This took a load of work off me. Most importantly, the greatest lesson learned was that by facing each member of the family, I was able to (or rather, I had to) shift to a lifestyle with little stress as possible by being aware of everyone’s strengths and weaknesses.

Every time I face an obstacle, my seniors, my friends, and my family always teaches me that there is a way. There’s a lot happening today, and there will be a lot happening tomorrow. Striking a balance is not so easy, but I hope that I can accomplish something one step at a time. I feel very fortunate that I am able to work in such a great work environment.