Office for Promotion of Equality and DiversityWaseda University

Series: Tackling Work-Life Balance (29)

Childcare and work, overcoming conflicts

　Teacher, Waseda University Honjo Senior High School
Makoto Hada

▲At the Dinosaur Center in Kannuru Town, Gunma Prefecture, near my workplace. Thanks to his son, the author has also become familiar with dinosaurs.

It’s 6:30 a.m. I call to my son: “Aren’t you going to wake up yet?” No response. Looks like it’s going to be another tough day. But time is running out. I have to persuade him to get up. Twenty minutes pass. Then 30 minutes go by . . .  It’s 7 a.m., and at last, he gives in. Okay, next he has to eat breakfast.

“Wah!” he says.
“Oh, no! What’s wrong?” I ask.
“This toast tastes terrible!”

Whoops, looks like I burned it a bit. “It’s my fault,” I say. “Here, change it for mine. Mine hasn’t been toasted yet.” Well, that worked. Next, I have to get him to brush his teeth, change his clothes, and then I need to take his temperature [Note: Temperature taking is performed in Japan before each day of childcare or preschool, and the result is recorded in the center’s, kindergarten’s, or other facility’s Daily Communications Notebook]. “I don’t like this one,” he says about the sweatshirt with the bear on it. “I want this one.” Well, that looks a bit for today . . . and it seems to be too small. . . But, I’d better give in. If I don’t, who knows what his reaction will be?! Okay, now we can go. I have his bag packed for the daycare. I haven’t forgot the thermos, or the Daily Notebook, which is all filled in. Oh, first, I just have to set the timer on the rice cooker to make sure the rice is ready when we get home this evening. Hmm . . . should I let him put his shoes on by himself? And, finally, . . . we’re off! At last! If I hurry, I can make it to my first class on time.

“Dad, I have to go to the toilet!”

Every morning is a tightrope dance when you have a preschool-aged boy (or girl, I suppose). My wife has to be at work early, so she’s out the door before 6 a.m. There are no grandparents at my house to help out, so it’s my job to take care of things every day, morning and evening. We try to use all of the services available to us, including Saturday daycare, extended evening-time daycare, special daycare when our son is sick, babysitting services, etc. I work closely with my wife, both of us cooperating to make sure that we can handle work and child-rearing duties. However, it doesn’t always work out. For example, I have to miss a day’s work when my son has a sudden fever, and so on. Plus, I have lots of preparation to do every day for my classes. I don’t have time to read or to write my thesis, and I can’t go on overnight trips or attend conferences, etc. I also have meetings, school interviews, extracurricular activities . . . I’m doing everything I can to cut task times and be more efficient, but I still become impatient and irritated. I wish I could do my work even better.

▲Mother and child enjoying interactive art at the Hakone Open-Air Museum. Mom took the child while Dad was busy attending the high school graduation ceremony.

On top of that, I don’t have enough quality time with my son. Even if I cut my club activities at school by an hour and take the Shinkansen home, I seem to be one of the last people to pick up their child, just before the daycare closes. And although I do my best to hurry, my son often complains that I’m late, or he breaks down and cries. And, of course, I know that a parent’s love is essential for a child’s healthy development. At just 3 years old, my son really needs me, and I feel guilty leaving him in childcare, sometimes for 11 hours a day.

I can’t cut any more time off my sleep. No matter what I do, every day brings worry and stress.

Thank goodness I have work colleagues who understand my position and are very supportive. True to our spirit of promoting diversity, everyone at the senior high school is so warm and thoughtful. They ask if my child is all right and tell me they understand how tough it is for me. It was only when I was faced with this situation that I realized how much comfort one can get from such caring words.

▲During summer vacation, the family took their first trip abroad to South Korea. In this photo, they are enjoying a pleasure cruise on the Han River.

I remember the 1979 American film Kramer vs. Kramer, a story about a fight over parental custody of a young boy. The scene where Ted Kramer’s boss fires him is especially poignant; when I saw the film, I wondered if having children was really worth it. Today, however, it is widely known that a healthy work–life balance increases work productivity and is indispensable for producing great work output. Certainly, raising children involves major time constraints, but that doesn’t mean that being a parent has to be a trade-off with work. No organization would find it worthwhile to sidetrack an employee’s career simply because the employee is raising a child, nor would they retract an employee’s responsibilities for the same reason. I am glad that society has become aware of the need for diversity management because it is a big help in my current situation. In fact, I think that all of the difficulties I am experiencing now will be of practical use to me in the future. Even after my son grows up, I will never forget the support I have enjoyed from so many people, for whom I will be always grateful. I pledge to always strive diligently to create a work environment where all may utilize their talents and abilities to the utmost, no matter their situation.

And each and every day, I will go to my workplace with the joy and satisfaction I get when my son hugs me and tells me, “Papa, I love you!”