![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.waseda.jp\/inst\/weekly\/assets\/uploads\/2020\/03\/section_2-1-610x345.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Q.\u3000There is a considerable number of students who are afraid of coming out to their parents. What are your thoughts on coming-out-related issues? <\/strong><\/p>\n Bourbonne With that said, if you preoccupy yourself with negative thoughts, you only see negative results. If you\u2019re positive, you\u2019ll be able to communicate information in a positive way, and, as a result, the other party will more likely accept what you say.<\/p>\n If you approach it as though you\u2019re confessing some sort of sin, the other party will naturally interpret what you say negatively and think, \u201cLife must be tough for them.\u201d Q.\u3000And in your case, Bourbonne, you didn\u2019t come out until your thirties. <\/strong><\/p>\n Bourbonne Looking back, I\u2019m happy I came out. But not all parents are as understanding as mine, so I can\u2019t tell others what to do.<\/p>\n Q.\u3000Among parents, are there many who are uncomfortable with sexual minorities? <\/strong><\/p>\n Bourbonne For example, in the case of bullying, the bullies are the first to get reprimanded. Most people want to protect children who have been hurt or excluded. But when it comes to LGBT issues, many parents feel as though they can\u2019t continue raising their children, or feel shameful, thus placing blame on the their own children. They don\u2019t feel that society is at fault for not accepting their children or that society is bullying their children.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I tell parents that it\u2019s their duty to protect their children.<\/p>\n Moriyama Moriyama Bourbonne
\nAh, the parent problem. Even though I live this way, I wasn\u2019t able to tell my parents until after I turned 30. I truly understand the feeling of not being able to tell your parents. There\u2019s no coming back from it, and it\u2019s something you have to carry with you regardless of their reaction. It\u2019s normal to not want to open Pandora\u2019s box.<\/p>\n
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.waseda.jp\/inst\/weekly\/assets\/uploads\/2020\/03\/xxx5328-610x407.jpg\")
\nI think until you feel that you want to come out to your parents in order to assure them you\u2019re happy, it\u2019s okay to wait for you to grow. If you tell them too early, your parents might feel pity for you and assume you\u2019re embarking on a life full of strife.<\/p>\n
\nYes. And since then, I introduced them to many of my eccentric friends and invited them on trips with my gay friends. I made it a point to show them I was enjoying life.<\/p>\n
\nYes. What I tell parents at my lectures is: \u201cThe conflict your children are experiencing is not something they chose themselves. If you, the people who gave birth to them, reject this aspect of their individuality, they will feel as though you\u2019re rejecting their entire existence.\u201d<\/p>\n
\nComing out is not an easy thing to do. I want to push back on the notion that people must come out to their parents, and acknowledge the existence of those who don\u2019t or cant come out to them. I want to talk more about the rights of sexual minorities and how they\u2019ve found happiness.
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.waseda.jp\/inst\/weekly\/assets\/uploads\/2020\/03\/xxx5525-610x407.jpg\")
\nBourbonne
\nThat\u2019s a common pattern as well.<\/p>\n
\nI understand people value their relationship with their parents, but for sexual minorities, if this conscience torments them, they should consider loosening these shackles. After all, your parents are your parents, and you are you; you\u2019re different people.<\/p>\n
\nI agree. It\u2019s also important to learn how to distance yourself from your parents. Relationships with parents are important, but individually, they\u2019re very different people. For me, it was meaningful that I told my parents, and because they\u2019ve been accepting, I\u2019m now able to talk to them about anything. But if they\u2019re not interested in having this kind of relationship, I don\u2019t think you need to come out.<\/p>\n