Namiki, Certified Psychologist and Clinical Psychologist, Student Counseling Room Health Support Center
The belief that "what you can't do is bad"
At Waseda University, there are many students who have worked hard since childhood in their studies and in various fields, and have accumulated successful experiences. As a result, they tend to have the habit of thinking that "I must always be excellent" and "It is bad to not be able to do something." Also, during their student life, they meet other students who they feel are better than them, or see them leading glamorous student lives on social media, which causes them to compare themselves to others, shaking their self-esteem and causing them to feel crushed by indescribable anxiety and loneliness.
The perspective that "other students are also struggling"
It goes without saying, but the image of other students that you see is merely one aspect of the image they are trying to show to others. When you are calm, you understand in your head that "they are also students, and they are feeling anxious and lonely." However, it is a natural human emotion to feel uneasy.
What you can do to improve your self-esteem
1. Accept yourself as you are
In order to overcome comparisons with others and perfectionism and establish a sense of self-affirmation, it is important to "accept yourself as you are" and "learn from failure experiences." First, write down on paper what is bothering you, thoughts that are tormenting you, failure experiences, etc., and look at them objectively (externalization).
2. Be kind to yourself
When you are troubled or in pain, try speaking to yourself in a warm and kind way, as if you were speaking to a best friend (self-compassion). Even if you tend to speak harsh words to yourself, you might be able to speak kind words to your best friend that will help them overcome their setbacks and move forward.
3. Find your own axis
It can be surprisingly difficult to look at yourself objectively. In such cases, counseling with a professional is one solution. Putting your current state of being into words can help you discover thinking habits that are usually difficult to notice and your own good points.
Like many of your predecessors, by continuing to challenge yourself without fear of failure while acknowledging that you are not capable of doing what you are right now, you will be able to find your own axis based on your own experiences and values, without being bound by comparisons with others. At that point, you will surely be able to embrace the charm of "yourself, not perfect, but true to yourself."
When in doubt, seek advice
University is a place where you can come into contact with diverse values and explore yourself. If you ever feel uneasy about something, please feel free to visit Student Counseling Room.